WEEK THREE POWER RANKINGS: BROUGHT TO YOU BY DAVE'S EGO

Another week in the books and we saw Dave come firing at the league with a vengeance.

Meanwhile poor Steve once again lined up against the highest scoring team that wasn't his. What will this do to the ol' rankings? Only one way to find out...

12) Coop Her Kupp (0-2, 250.42 PF)- Sorry Jude, someone has to be the bottom and you're in that chair when the music stopped this week.

11) Purple Helmet (1-1, 261.46 PF)- Hey moving on up, from 12 to 11, after a loss, that ain't bad, right? At this pace you'll be #1 by the playoffs!

10) Team Deloria (0-2, 244.48 PF)- No more Saquon? 

But seriously don't let this injury fool you, we all saw the numbers The Saquon Kid put up in the opener, Deloria's team was going nowhere anyways, now he just has an excuse.

9) Peter's Team (1-1, 241.78 PF)- Pete has the best team that has not been touched since the season started.

8) Carnal Fruitarians (1-1, 289.24 PF)- Pause for Dave to bitch about the rankings and then offer up his fantasy football resume. He won this league a couple times and has the two best tacklers, blah, blah, blah. It's not that the PRs don't trust you Dave, but let's see a couple more weeks of production. 

7) Marvelous Muzzy's (2-0, 285.78 PF)- It's nothing against this team and what they have done thus far, but Run CMC is out, he can't Mostert up any points from Raheem, and his QBs are inconcsistent as heck, so, here we are,

6) Kyle's Team (1-1, 221.32 PF)- Sorry, you don't top 90 points in a week, ya gonna fall a bit in the Rankings of Power.

5) Shirley Stranglers (0-2, 277.94 PF)- 0-2 and taking on Dave this week? The PRs still think Nate's team will turn things around, so let's not call this week's game a must-win for Nate-o, but 0-3 is not a great place to be.

4) Charknado (2-0, 294.54 PF)- The most consistent team thus far, I think the undefeated season comes to an end this week, though. Although it plays Steve teams so that should mean 170+ points are coming, right?

3) bfranchitto's Team (2-0, 316.22 PF)- Still the cleverest team name in the league, I think. Anyways, Brando's team is looking good moving up 3 spots from last week and now eyeing that top spot. But the path to 3-0 is not easy, because week three draws...

2) Bobsicles. (1-1, 323.08 PF)- The surprise team of the early season, can Bobsicles. hand Brando his first loss of the season?

1) Salem Salad Tossers (1-1, 325.50)- Sure, Steve lost in week two, but he was against the top scoring team in the league and does still have the most points scored. A loss this week could really shake things up though. Watch out Steve, objects in your rearview may be closer than they appear!

WEEK TWO POWER RANKINGS BROUGHT TO YOU BY SURGE

Welcome to week two's Power Rankings Brought to you by Surge!

Surge! Life'a scream; feed the rush!

The first week is in the books and we didn't have any real surprises as far as who beat whom, but Bobsicles. stunned the world with the 2nd highest score of week one. Unfortunately it was maybe wasted because it was put up against the highest scoring team in week one, The Salem Salad Tossers.

What will Bobsicles. big day do to the Power Rankings Brought to You by Surge? Well, let's find out...

12) Purple Helmet (1-0, 139.6 pts)- Well the Power Rankings Brought to You by Surge account for many factors so despite an opening week win and being 5th in the league in points, they just don't like Jonny. On the bright side, there's only one way for him to go, right?

11) Peter's Team (0-1, 114.1 pts)- Seriously, someone tell Pete to put down his unicorn pipe and let him know he is still in this league?

10) Carnal Fruitarians (0-1, 103.14 pts)- You think Dave is concerned? Pfft!

9) Coop Her Kupp (0-1, 126.2 pts)- Hey Jude, I have nothing for youuuu.

8) Team Deloria (1-0, 115.98 pts)- Despite the weak one start (see what I did there) Deloria is actually poised for a strong week two. Can he pull off the upset of Chitto?

7) Jonnu What I Mean? (1-0, 138.8 pts)- 7th last week, 7th this week, just standing pat with the highest projected week two score.

6) bfranchitto's Team (1-0, 145.64 pts)- Chitto won the first Chitto Bowl of the year but failed to meet projections and projected to score even less this week even if he does adjust for injuries.

5) Marvelous Muzzys (1-0, 145.4 pts)- A-MUZZ-ing start to the season and Kareem Hunt got Muzz of to a good start this week, but he has a tough matchup this week, against Kyle's Team. 

I am just assuming the name Muzzy was picked as an homage to Emil Muzz from the cinematic classic Dragnet with Dan Akroyd and Tom Hanks.

4) Bobsicles. (0-1, 169.5 pts)- The Power Rankings Brought to You by Surge seem to think week one was no fluke for Bobsicles. They'll have their hands full in week two as they head into this season's Chitto Bowl II.

3) Shirley Stranglers (0-1, 127.46 pts)- Nate is hanging around the top three, injuries could see him falling down the Power Rankings Brought to You by Surge.

2) Kyle's Team (1-0, 132.92 pts)- The defending champ adds another win to the streak, but Marvelous Muzzy is looking to end the streak this week.

1) Salem Salad Tossers (1-0, 174.58)- Should be no surprise that Steve keeps the top spot after posting the most points in week one. It's brother vs. brother in week two, as this year's DeCorpo Bowl I takes place. Can Dave pull off the early season upset?

 

PRESEASON POWER RANKINGS!

 Another season is underway and, as usual we've heard a lot from Dave, Deloria is still against keepers, and it's pain to schedule the draft date and time. But most of that is behind us, for this season, anyways. How this season pans out with a backdrop of a pandemic, wildfires and what can be violent and destructive responses to racial injustice, is anyone's guess, but let's enjoy the ride while we can. Alright, I don't have many fun facts to start the season, so we'r gonna just dive right in and break out the state of the art Power Ranker 5000...

To keep the audience captive we're gonna build suspense this year and work from least best to best.

So away we go1

12) Peter's Team (Projected Record 5-8)- They say nice guys finish last and well, Pete is one of the nicest fantasy football players there is!

11) Coop Her Kupp (Projected Record 4-9)- Hey Jude (sure it's the first time he's heard that one) finished 4th last season, which I believe was his first in this league! Kudos there, but did you know he finished projected as the 10th best team in the league? In the end projections and Power Rankings don't ultimately matter if you can get lucky or get hot at the right time and I wouldn't worry about having the worst draft rating in the league, so don't worry Jude...

                                                                                  

10) Purple Helmet (Projected Record 5-8)- 

Alright, it's spelled differently, but oh well. While it was anything but Helaire-ious, when he drafted Edwards-Helaire, the draft went downhill from there, giving him an uphill climb this season, especially when you factor in the the he has one of the toughest schedules. 

9) Carnal Fruitarians (Projected Record 5-8)- Dave is being stymied by JK Dobbins not having a a starting role yet, and basically being a garbage running back he should trade to me, but even without him, Dave has a solid floor for his RB corp. Is it enough to launch him up the PRs?

8) Bobsicles (Projected Record 5-8)- In Cam they trust? Going all in on Cam at QB, could make or break this team, so let's monitor that closely. 

7) Odell's # 2 (Projected Record 8-5)- Second best draft according to Yahoo!, but that's not enough for the Rankings of Power. Good news is the first year my team was below .500 in this league I made it to the championship game as one of the last seeds in the playoffs, so not concerned being this far down the rankings.

6) Team Deloria (Projected Record 7-6)- Deloria is always a wild card and his final record projection is hampered by him facing the 2nd toughest schedule in the league. But, hey almost anything is better than his 3-10 record last season, right?

5) Marvelous Muzzy's (Projected Record- 7-6)- Building a team around Christian McCaffrey is as solid a plan as any. If Kareem Hunt pays off, this will be a tough team.

4) bfranchitto's Team (Projected Record- 8-5)- Yahoo! said Brandon had the best draft, even though they graded it only a B? Well, it's pretty hard to not contend with a healthy Patrick Mahomes as your QB. 

3) Shirley Stranglers (Projected Record 7-6)- With Mike Evans and Michael Thomas Nate boasts probably the best WR corp in the league, which is good since he has four RBs that are not RB1s. Of course that just means one or two of them hit and he's probably sittin' pretty.

2) Kyle's Team (Projected Record 9-4)- The defending champ comes back with a strong team to start his title defense. A high floor and some consistent (read: boring) players could have Kyle back in the 'ship.

1) Salem Salad Tossers (Projected Record 10-3)- Steve always seems to have a solid team and this year is no different as he had the highest draft grade in the league and looks to break the DeCorpo championship drought of...two years.

Well, the matchup of the week has to be the Franchitto Bowl. Can Nate pull of the upset of big brother? Brandon's looking strong and has a decent edge in projections, but anything can happen...that's why we play the game! 

Good luck this week to everyone but Pete!