WEEK 14; PLAYOFF TIME

So from here on out, the power rankings will just be the remaining playoff teams. I'm sure Pete will be so saddened. Anyways, Pete's gone, Jude's gone, Jonny's gone and last week, sadly, Nate was added to the list of teams who can start the offseason prep.

But let's talk about those teams rolling into the playoffs.

Yes, the Championship Quarterfinals will feature to week 13 rematches, including a 3rd DeCorpo Bowl! Plus another Chitto Bowl! 

Alright this will be the final true Power Rankings which means the Power Rankings prize will be sent to who finished the regular season #1.

12) Peter's Team (3-10, 1488.22 PF)

11) Purple Helmet (5-8, 1502.96 PF)

10) Coop Her Kupp (3-10, 1567.10 PF)

9) Shirley Stranglers (6-7, 1682.00 PF)

8) Kyle's Team (7-6, 1702.02 PF)- A big finish secured "K-Gun" Kyle a playoff spot and a week 13 rematch with Matty D. They split the regular season matchups so we could be in for another slobberknocker with a trip to the semis on the line. Remember Kyle did win it all last year as the 6th seed, so being an underdog is nothing new!

7) Team Deloria (7-6, 1687.90 PF)- Deloria really made due and didn't just throw in the towel when Saquon went down and look at him now! Now he draws a HAIL MURRAY squad that has looked more like FAIL MURRAY the past few weeks. Now Will has beaten him in the last four regular season matchups, but if you follow CrapBets.net, you know he is 2-0 against Will in the playoffs, twice kicking him from the playoffs in the quarterfinals.

6) Bobsicles (6-7, 1700.04 PF)-  Controlling his own destiny, Larry knocked his son out of the playoff hunt in week 13 and now has the chance at ending his other son's season, this week!

5) Salem Salad Tossers (6-7, 1800.34 PF)- Backing his way on into the playoffs, with five straight losses, and he gets another matchup with the only person in the league he shares DNA with and that's not great. Why? Well, his brojangles swept the season series 2-0 and has beaten him in seven straight matchups! 

Well, that's aggressive, but Dave has definitely had his number however you want to articulate that. Now none of this really means squat because anything can happen in the playoffs and Steve did finish top 4 in points and there's a reason he was #1 in these very power rankings for many weeks at the start of the season.

4) Marvelous Muzzy's (8-5, 1694.90 PF)- We've had some fun at Matt's expense this season, in regards to his team's right to belong in the top tier of the league. While his overall points total his not impressive his team is picking it up at the right time as he is 3rd in points over the last three weeks of the season.

3) HAIL MURRAY (9-4, 1853.94 PF)- Well, consistent through much of the season, this team finished, um, poorly. Two weeks to lock up the #1 seed and two losses, including their worst showing of the season in week 13. Hopefully those bad weeks are out of the system now.

2) Carnal Fruitarians (9-4, 1859.88 PF)- Dave continues to be the most consistently good team in the league over the seasons, but unfortunately if he wants to get to the semis, he is going to have to continue his dominance over broham, Steve. Yeah, dominance. He has won seven straight against bro diddley and will look to make it eight in this primetime brodown.

1) Laughing Kookaburra (9-4, 1946.42 PF)- Well, Brando did it! He got the points title and the top seed. 

Important to note that the #1 seed hasn't fared that well recently in the playoffs. 2-2 in the first round and only one championship game appearance for the last 4 #1 seeds. Basically not a time for Brando to take anything for granted.

Good luck, kids!

 

WEEK 13; THE FINAL COUNTDOWN

 

Wow, what can I say about this final week of our regular season?! This may be the epicmost week 13 in league history! (HYPERBOLE ALERT) Okay, while I don't have actual data to support that I can lay out what we have this week! Plus a DeCorpo Bowl, a Franchitto Bowl and a Toilet Bowl!

First off, every matchup has some sort of implication! Yes, even this week's Toilet Bowl between Pete and Jude has ramifications as the #1 pick next season is on the line! Pete wins and Jude gets the pick, Jude wins and Pete gets the pick! It's a gentleman's fight for futility!

Additionally, Brandon, Will and Dave have a shot at the points title. Brandon is in a good spot and just has to old them off for one more week to get that points title moola.

Plus, Brandon and Dave are not out of the running to be regular season champ. If I beat Jonny then I clinch the #1 seed for the first time in my career in this league. If I lose, then it gets wild. In that instance, if Brandon wins and Dave loses and I don't outscore Brandon by 15.72 points, Brandon is the one seed. The path is tougher for Dave if I lose and Brandon wins, because he is 3rd in points he would need to still outscore both of us to get the title. He only has to outscore me by 11 or so to win the tiebreaker but unless Brandon loses, he really needs to outscore Brandon by about 26 points to get the #1 seed.

 On the other end, Kyle, Nate and Larry are in a duel for the final playoff spots. Right now, Larry has the points tiebreaker, but the three teams are only separated by 21 points so that tiebreaker could easily change. 

If Kyle and Nate win...they're in. However, if Larry wins and Kyle loses to Matt, it comes down to points, for the last spot, because Larry is ahead of Nate in points so if he beats Nate, he's in and Nate has to hope Kyle loses and doesn't score more than 13 points than him in the process.

Meanwhile, Deloria is in, but the number of outcomes gets wild depending on what everyone else does. A win and he could potentially land the four seed, but no worse than a five seed. If he loses, he could end up 6th, 7th or 8th.

Wild stuff! So now that you've finished the apps, let's get to the main course!

12) Purple Helmet (4-8, 1369 PF)- Well, it's been a rough, well, season. Despite four wins, it's been a hot minute since his team was competitive, being in the bottom three in points in four of the last five weeks.

11) Peter's Team (3-9, 1390.82)- Well, no chance at the playoffs didn't stop him from throwing up the top score of week 12, now he plays for the #1 draft pick!

10) Coop Her Kupp (2-10, 1434.56 PF)- Well, the luck has not been on Jude's sign as given his performance his should be locked into a battle for a playoff spot right now, but alas, he is not. 

9) Bobsicles. (5-7, 1575.58 PF)- Well, it comes down to the final week and Larry needs a win and he's in. See, he has more points than Nate, so a win over Nate and he will be in. Lose and he's out, simple as that.

8) Kyle's Team (6-6, 1554.48 PF)- What Kyle's season has been to this point, is irrelevant, right now...how he performs this week is all that matters.  Win and he's in, but lose and there's still a chance he makes the playoffs, if he finishes with more points than Larry and Nate, assuming Larry beats Nate, but a Nate win gets him in either way. Got that?

7) Team Deloria (7-5, 1535.10 PF)- Some may have written Deloria off, but here he is...playoff bound. The wild thing is he could be anything from the four seed to the eight seed. 

 6) Shirley Stranglers (6-6, 1567.7 PF)- The slow start (let's blame Michael Thomas) could cost him, but just like Kyle a win and he's in. Simple. In fact if he wins he clinches the playoffs for himself, Kyle and Steve.

5) Salem Salad Tossers (6-6, 1697.52 PF)- Well, Steve hasn't technically clinched a playoff spot, but it would take a miracle for him to not make the playoffs based on the points for. Also based on points for, he really can't do worse than the six seed. 

4) Marvelous Muzzy's (8-4, 1553.1 PF)- By all standards, Matt has been the luckiest team this season, but regardless, he could actually still go has high as the two seed if Dave and Brandon both lose.

3) Carnal Fruitarians (8-4, 1731.92 PF)- The points race comes down to the final week, and Dave is still in the running, but needs one of his Boom weeks to pull it out. So, you know, the opposite of last week's Derek Carr captained shipwreck. Can he right the ship for week 13 or will it be rough regular season finish?

2) Laughing Kookaburra (8-4, 1757.9 PF)- Brandon just has to hold Dave and myself off for one more week to win the points title 

and still has a shot at the #1 seed if there's a loss by...

1) HAIL MURRAY (9-3, 1742.18 PF)- Still the master of consistency, although the last couple week have been a bit rough. Just needs a win to keep that one seed and some points to try and get that points crown. But the one seed is his to lose!

WEEK 12: RANKSGIVING

It's week 12! Only two weeks left in our regular season, so things is getting real. Sadly Pete and Jude have been mathematically eliminated from making the playoffs. So all they can do now is try and play the role of spoilers!

On the other side of the coin, four teams have now clinched a playoff spot, so six teams are now in the hunt for the final four playoff spots. Now, Steve, Kyle and Deloria can all clinch a spot with win, however Kyle and Deloria are playing each other! That means there's a high chance we will head into week 13 with two playoff spots up for grabs. Of course if Bobsicles. and Purple Helmet lose then all three of those teams clinch anyways, plus we have the Franchitto Gravy Bowl this week and we know how intense and fierce those can be!

Winner gets a free gravy bowl! Anyways, onto Ranksgiving!

12) Peter's Team (2-9, 1229.76 PF)-  Well, Pete can be thankful that he wasn't mathematically eliminated from making the playoffs all by his lonesome. 

11) Purple Helmet (4-7, 1271.50 PF)- It's not entirely a must-win matchup for Jonny, but it pretty much is.

10) Coop Her Kupp (2-9, 1340.14 PF)- Well, Jude can at least say he was the unluckiest team in the league? Based on week over week scores he should be sitting on five wins right now....so there's that.

9) Bobsicles. (4-7, 1420.42 PF)- Larry is clinging to playoff life, but a win over Steve coupled with Brando winning the Fanchitto Gravy Bowl and he's back in a decent spot! 

8) Team Deloria (6-5, 1375.02 PF)- Deloria's coming off his worst week of the season, but he still just needs a win and he's onto the playoffs! That's easy enough, right?

7) Kyle's Team (6-5, 1401.66 PF)- Kyle's in the same boat as Deloria in that he just needs to win and he's in the playoffs. So their week 12 clash is a big one.

6) Shirley Stranglers (5-6, 1434.70 PF)- Does defense win fantasy championships? Nate sure hope so since no one has scored more defensive points that him. Will that help him pull off the upset in the Franchitto Gravy Bowl?

5) Marvelous Muzzy's (7-4, 1397.86 PF)- Playoff spot is clinched and now Matt's just in a battle to not be the playoff team with the fewest points scored. This team also has the distinction of being the only one of the four teams who have clinched a playoff spot that has had the worst weekly score, more than once! Lucky or not, anything can happen in the playoffs, so don't sleep on Matt's team just because he hasn't be able to score points real well.

4) Salem Salad Tossers (6-5, 1554.62 PF)- Steve's team has been slip sliding for a bit now. A win this week slides him in the playoffs, but even if he loses, he is in line to hold the points tiebreaker.

3) Carnal Fruitarians (7-4, 1629.82 PF)- According to Dave he was about to take over the top spot in points last week...guess Dave was using a loose definition of "about". Anyways, credit where credit is due, Dave has had the highest scoring week, a league leading four times this season!

Oh boy, well let's humble him a bit and remind him that that stat hasn't helped him be first in points or wins, so?

2) HAIL MURRAY (9-2, 1604.68 PF)- Looking to hold a piece of first place from start to finish, a win this week clinches at least the #2 seed in the playoffs. This team has mastered consistency, being the only team to not be in the bottom five in points any week this season. No one has gone a whole season with that consistency since 1957! Okay, not really, but it's still a neat, useless stat.

1) Laughing Kookaburra (8-3, 1633.02 PF)- Should be the Laughing Koo-Kamara, am I right? Riding the Kamara/Mahomes tandem to victory ain't a bad way to fly if you can manage it!

 

WEEK 11 POWER RANKINGS...PLAYOFFS?!

Good day, sports fans! We just have three weeks left in the fantasy regular season, can you believe it?

The payoff race is heating up!

One team has clinched a spot already and quite a few with a chance to clinch their spots this week. Before we dig in, your useless stat of the week is wins against the league! What is that, you ask? Well, that is the number of wins you would have if you played every team, every week.

In a way you could help factor this into how lucky or unlucky a team has been this season. From this and other points data, looks like Matt has been the luckiest and Larry has been the unluckiest on the season. 

Now, obligatory, "Will is raising money for a foundation that helps men's health" alert!

https://movember.com/m/williemoe?mc=1

Alright, now that the appetizers are out of the way, onto the meat (or plant-based meat, if that's your thing) and potatoes!

12) Peter's Team (2-8, 1120.58 PF)- We all know Pete checked out awhile ago, but thanks to a sweet trade, he's got a good array of early picks next year. Thanks for playing, Pete! Now, put your head down, while the other children learn.

11) Purple Helmet (4-6, 1186.56 PF)- Look, there's three week's left and the tiebreaker, somewhat stupidly is just points for, which means J-Bone needs wins and or points in the last three weeks, because there's only one team in the league with fewer points and that team is in last place (HI PETE!).

10) Coop Her Kupp (2-8, 1218.20 PF)- I thought there was a corner being turned, but last week's loss could be the last nail in the coffin for Jude. Every week is must win now.

That's the spirit!

9) Bobsicles (3-7, 1300.32 PF)- Larry has been the unluckiest team this season. Based on week-to-week performance the numbers project that he'd have 6 wins at this point. Fun to think about, but the reality is he is in heated battle for the last playoff spots and he will get a chance against both teams in front of him, over the next three weeks, starting with Purple Helmet this week.

8) Team Deloria (6-4, 1273.56 PF)- Many experts wrote Deloria off, but if Deloria beats Nate and Larry beats Jonny, Deloria clinches a playoff spot!

7) Kyle's Team (5-5, 1276.64 PF)- Loser of two in a row and three of his las four, Kyle will need to finish strong to hold onto that playoff spot. A win against Jude this week would be a big help!

6) Shirley Stranglers (4-6, 1303.56 PF)- WAIT, WHAT'S THAT NOISE?! IT'S...NO, IT CAN'T BE...IT'S NATE!

5) Marvelous Muzzy's (7-3, 1267.32 PF)- One of these things is not like the others...

Hey wins are wins, but that luck could run out at any time...just sayin.

4) Carnal Fruitarians (6-4, 1475.30 PF)- Dave finally did it! He had a week where he was neither top three in points not bottom three in points...albeit barely. 

3) Salem Salad Tossers (6-4, 1411.54 PF)- Once the darling of the Power Rankings, could he be in line to be the darling of the Power Tankings? Back-to-back losses and currently projected to lose this week? Is Steve spiraling? 

2) Laughing Kookaburra (7-3, 1479.70 PF)- It was a short-lived time at the top for Brando, but that's not to say he couldn't be back there again soon! 

1) The Tee Party (8-2, 1472.92 PF)- Been a long time coming, folks! Still the only team to not have a bust week or have a bottom three score in points for a week, plus the only team that has had a share of first place for every week of the season. Surprisingly also a team that has not had the highest score in any week this season? What a wild ride! Still a ways to go, but right now, it's good to be king. 

WEEK TEN POWER RANKINGS: THE WINDS OF CHANGE

There's only four weeks left in the fantasy regular season, can you believe it? And as the title indicates we have a lot of changes in this week's Power Rankings! So let's get on with it after a quickly jogging your mem-MO'ry that I am raising money for men's health through the Movember Foundation!

Since some of you are men, I thought it would be relevant to you and you might want to help the cause- https://movember.com/m/williemoe?mc=1 

Okay, now that the charity portion of this is MO-ver, let's see what last week's games did to the Power Rankings:

12) Peter's Team (1-8, 1000.56 PF)- Remember when Pete was 1-1 and there's was a chance he'd be competing for a playoff spot? 

11) Purple Helmet (3-6, 1057.30)- A three game losing streak, headed into a matchup against the 2nd highest scoring team in the league? Those playoff chances are slip-sliding away.

10) Coop Her Kupp (2-7, 1088.42 PF)- I tried to warn you all that this a team on the rise, but did you listen? Seriously, did you? I have no idea. Anyways, Jude has hit the top three in points scored in two of the last three weeks and is 4th in overall points over the past three weeks. All of a sudden he is one game out of the last playoff spot with just four games to go!

9) Shirley Stranglers (3-6, 1127.52 PF)- As bad as things have gone for Nate this season, he is still in the hunt. If Michael Thomas starts being Michael Thomas down the stretch, this could be a dangerous team that could rocket through the playoffs!

8) Bobsicles. (3-6, 1192.20 PF)- Can defenses win fantasy championships? Larry is hoping so as he has the most points from the DEF spot this season.  

7) Team Deloria (5-4, 1122.50 PF)- It may seem like Deloria's team doesn't have a ton going for it right now, but it is two games ahead for the 7th seed in the playoffs and just a game back of the 5th seed. 

6) Kyle's Team (5-4, 1187.62 PF)- Just stuck in the middle.

5) Marvelous Muzzy's (6-3, 1139.02 PF)- Well Run CMC was back for a hot minute and now Matt is back where he was. Still in a good spot, playoff-wise and if he beats Dave this week? Well...

4) The Tee Party (7-2, 1321.02 PF)- Still the only team this season to not have a bottom three week in scoring. In fact, in only one week this season has this team been in the bottom half of the league in scoring.

3) Carnal Fruitarians (6-3, 1365.54 PF)- The streak is alive...it's either top three in points or bottom three in points each week, however he has now been in the top three in scoring, in three of the last four weeks, so things are on the up and up!

2) Salem Salad Tossers (6-3, 1313.72 PF)- That's right, for the first time this season, Steve's squad has dropped from the #1 spot in the PRs!

1) Laughing Kookaburra (7-2, 1357.68 PF)- Brando's team has been money most of this season and has finally got back a share of first place in the standings!