WEEK SOMETHINIG OR OTHER HYDROX POWER RANKINGS

Good day all. I'd apologize for falling off the radar, but I just don't care that much.

Okay, I care, but as for when and how often these power rankings get written? Well, I have a document for that...

Glad that's all cleared up. Now as we head into the final third of the season the playoff picture should become clearer. Well, it hasn't.

• Nate and Dave remain tied for the top spot, but Nate has the current tiebreaker against Dave
• Will, Steve and Pete all sit one game back of the top, with Will currently holding the tiebreaker there. Either Will or Pete will get their fourth loss of the season in week ten.
• After the top five, there are five teams within one game of each other, battling for the final three playoff spots.
• Kyle and Larry are still lingering but they are battling in week ten and the loser of that will be hanging onto playoff hopes for dear life...

          

Alright and now onto the Power Rankings..

1) Carnal Fruitarians (Dave)- With seven straight wins, Dave has been owning this league for more than half the season now.

2) Davey TBD (Dave)- Dave is on top of the world right now and quite frankly, feeling invincible.

3) DeCorpo the Bilals (Dave)

4) Salem David Tossers (Dave)

5) team kin-david (Dave)- Dave's top five movies are How High, Cheech in Chong's Up In Smoke, Grandma's Boy and Fried Green Tomatoes

6) Davey's Tube Socks (Dave)

7) London-Davey Lumberjacks (Dave)

8) Team Dave-loria (Dave)

9) Dave State Brandinos (Dave)

10) Multiple DeCorp-gasms (Dave)
11) Hudson Dave-plorables (Dave)

12) pot roasters (Jon)

WEEK EIGHT FLOWBEE POWER RANKINGS:

We are past the halfway point of the fantasy season and play time is over!

Let's break things down as we hit the back nine...er, six.

• While the divisions are randomly selected and just for scheduling purposes, I think it's fun to note that the top three teams, or the scream of the crop, are owl in the same division.

          

• Will and Nate will meet once more and this week is the first of tomb meetings between Dave and Will, witch could, could, put Nate in the driver's seat for the #1 seed. We're still a ways off from worrying about that though.
• Oh wait, let's not forget Pete, who joins the Big Three from Division 3 in the 5-2 club. Nate grave Pete's his first loss since week two.
• This week Pete faces Ryan 'King Dread" Kindred, hoot has joined the "tough break" club as he now has the honor of having the most points scored against him on the season thanks in large part to the last four weeks...
• Over the past four weeks, Ry Guy (not to be confused with Hall of Famer Ray Guy) has had opposing scores of 172.5, 174, 163 and 174.3.
• As we close in on teams thinking about magic numbers we are also getting close to crunch time for the bottom half of the league.
• Even at 1-6, Larry is not close to being out of the playoff "witch" hunt. Larry is boo, er, two games out of the last playoff spot with six games to go.
• Looking at Larry's last six games, he only faces one team with a winning record, witch may give him an ex-skull-ent shot at sneaking into the playoffs.
• De-gory-a looks to have the toughest finish of the bottom six, facing teams with a winning record in four of the last six games, including a three game stretch against Division 3 in weeks 10-12.
• Here are the records and winning percentages the bottom six will be facing.

           Deloria- 22-20 (Four opponents with winning records)

           Kyle- 21-21 (Three opponents with winning records

           Brandon- 19-23 (Three opponents with winning records)

           Ryan- 19-23 (Two opponents with winning records)

           Jon- 19-23 (Three opponents with winning records)

           Larry- 18-24 (One opponent with winning record)

Alright, without further ado, let's get to the rankings...

1) Shirley TBD (5-2)- Most points in the league headed into week 8, and of the top three teams he has the easiest remaining schedule. That #1 seed is in Nate's sights, but Nate is gonna just play it...

2) Kupp the Bilals (5-2)- Currently in the two spot but not confident that this team stays there. But I am as calm  as can be..

3) Carnal Fruitarians (5-2)-  A slow start to the season, Davey D is on fire and is gonna be a tough our, until my Patrick Maholmes voodoo doll arrives in the mail.

4) Salem Salad Tossers (4-3)- Steve's team just hasn't been clutch thus far, but he believes in his team and knows he will be right in the thick of things when it comes to crunch time.

As long as he doesn't have to face...

5) Dirty Tube Socks (5-2)- We have constantly discussed Pete having had some good luck thus far, but while the record may be a bit lucky, the PRs still think this squad is a contender. And you know what, Pete, maybe your 5-2 record is a tad lucky, but hey is that your fault?

The next three squads are dangerous squads at times, but we don't really know what to make of them...

6) team kindred (2-5)

7) Londonderry Lumberjacks (4-3)

8) Team Deloria (3-4)

 Some weeks they can be good, others, not so much.

Now onto the basement.

Well, this ain't the Alamo, nor will any of these teams be nearly as memorable...

9) Multiple Scorgasms (2-5)

10) Bay State Brandinos (3-4)

11) Hudson Deplorables (1-6)

12) the pot roasters (3-4)

But hey, I broke down their rest of season schedule and as we have seen in this league, make the playoffs and you have yourself a good chance.

Alright...

WEEK FIVE ODOR EATER POWER RANKINGS; DECORPO BROTHERS, WHERE ART THOU?

Good day, ladies and germs! Welcome back to another edition of your Odor-Eaters Power Rankings!

That's right folks....

A lot's happened in the last couple weeks and I'll try and get to all of it...

• Brando nabbed his first win of the season, narrowly avoiding the worst start of his career.
• Not only that, but Brandon's win knocked Nate from the ranks of the unbeaten.

• Staying with the Franchitto clan, Nate also lost last week as well
• In fact the Franchittos are 1-5 over the last two weeks and the one win is Brandon over Nate
• Good news for the Franchittos fam though...Nate plays Larry this week in 2018 Franchitto Bowl II

      

• On the other side of the coin you have Pete's Dirty Tube Socks who knocked Deloria from the unbeatens...

          

• And also knocked off Steve two out of the last three weeks.

 

• So that means 75% of Pete's wins this season are against DeCorpos
• No one has had fewer points scored against them this season than Pete
• Wedged in between his Pete losses, Steve had the highest scoring week four.
• Meanwhile the other DeCorpo is on a tear, winning three in a row and only yours truly has more points scored during his winning streak.

Alright, dem's the apps, let's get onto the main course...The Odor-Eaters Week Five Power Rankings

1. Kupp the Bilals (4-1)- The loss to Nate in week one, much like most of the things Nate does, is basically just a minor inconsequential speed bump, now. Not only is my squad the top scoring team in the league and not only is it the only team to be in the top three in scoring each week this season, but I'm also the top scoring owner over the past three seasons. If we get back to the present and this season, I have the only team that has eclipsed 150 points in all five weeks. But what you all have going for you is that only one team that has finished the regular season with the most points for has won the championship. That was Deloria back in 2012. Couple that with the fact I have never won a playoff game and you guys may actually have hope.

Oh and for the first time this season I am not projected to win, so you have that going for ya...

2. Shirley TBD (3-2)- It's slowly gone down hill since week one for Natelynn. Before last week he had put up a lower score than the previous week in three straight weeks. Got that?

Okay, here's something easier to understand...the number two, as in how many consecutive losses Nate now has. Good thing he has the Deplorable Me (aka Larry) this week.

3. Salem Salad Tossers (2-3)- Hey when he doesn't face Pete he's almost undefeated. This DeCorpo brother is favored to beat me this week though and a win there could really shake up The Odor Eater Power Rankings

4. Carnal Fruitarians (3-2)- Dave-O spotted the league two games and now he is off and running!

        

5. team kindred (2-3)- Three straight losses for the Ry Guy has his squad fading in the rankings and if he loses this week he'll be falling further down the rankings and scrambling for a playoff spot.

6. The Dirty Tube Socks (4-1)- I know Pete is 4-1, but as I mentioned no team has had fewer points scored against them this season, so the Odor-Eaters Power Rankings think a wee spot of luck has been involved. But on a plus side, look what popped up when I searched for "dirty tube sock"

7. Team Deloria (3-2)- Back-to-back losses and an unfavorable matchup this week against...

8. Londonderry Lumberjacks (3-2)- DeCoste's season has been a real up and down one thus far...

Making him a reallll..

Okay now we get to the bottom four...or as I like to call them the Island of Misfit Fantasy Teams...

These teams have all shown flashes of something, but in the end they just haven't been able to keep up with the rest of the league and, as we approach the half way point of the fantasy season, need to worry about making the playoffs.

9. Multiple Scorgasms (2-3)-

10. Hudson Deplorables (1-4)

11. Bay State Brandinos (1-4)

12. the pot roasters (2-3)

WEEK FOUR BERTUCCI'S POWER RANKINGS: 2018 FRANCHITTO BOWL I

It's week four and Brando's season is turning into Charlie Brown.

You want to see what I mean? Okay, sure!

• Only three teams have scored more points than Brandon this season.
• The three teams that have scored more points than Chitto have a combined record of 8-1, good for an .889 winning percentage.
• Chitto's record is 0-3, good for a .000 winning percentage.
• In league history 22 teams have started 0-3
• The average finish for those 22 teams was 10th place
• Those teams average final record was 5-8
• Only two of those teams finished with a winning record (Deloria both times)
• Of those 22 teams, seven of them have made the playoffs
• Only two of those seven teams have made it past the first round of the playoffs
• But one of those teams did win a championship

So right now there is still a small glimmer of hope for Chitto, but he locks horns with his baby brother this week in the first Franchitto Bowl of 2018. Nate is living on the other side of things, sitting atop the league and the Bertucci's Power Rankings (spoiler alert). So how do things look for Chitto if the predictions for this week hold up? Well...

• Six teams in the history of the league have started the season 0-4
• They're average finish was 9th place, but...
• Two of those teams have made the playoffs, buuutttt
• Neither made it out of the first round

Needless to say this is probably a must win for Brando but can he pull off the biggest upset of this young season when he faces...

1) Shirley TBD (3-0)- Now, Nate may be sitting atop the standings and the Bertucci's Power Rankings, but he's posted a lower score than his previous week each of the past two weeks. Is it the beginning of the end for Young Nathan? Will this week be Brando's time to shine; pushing Nate into a downward spiral of despair?! Probably not, since his worst score of the season was still good for the second best score in the league that week. I think you throw the numbers out the window in this blood feud!

Not only Brother vs Brother, but  Defense vs Defense as their defense lock horns on Thursday Night Football!

2) Kupp the Bilals (2-1)- Three teams have been in the top four in scoring each week, Shirley TBD, Team Deloria and (do you really not see this coming?)...Kupp The Bilals. Of those three, this team is the only one with a loss...to Shirley TBD. I mean I'm not as unlucky as Brando has been, but I am the only team to have 500 points scored against me and in two of the three weeks the opponent has had their best week of the season. Now, with scores of 152.2, 157.4 and 156.2 this team has been the definition of consistency.

3) Team Deloria (3-0)- As noted above, Team Deloria has kept the pedal to the metal through three weeks, but early projections have him in a close week three matchup. Could Dirty Tube Socks change Team Deloria from an unbeaten to a beaten, this week? If the Bills can thrash the Vikings in Minnesota, then...

4) Team Kindred (2-1)- The Ry Guy got a taste of how the other half lives, taking his first loss of the season. His bench had a nice week, though!

5) Salem Salad Tossers (1-2)- Back to back losses? What better way to fix that than a matchup with ErectKyle Dysfunction in week four?

6) Carnal Fruitarians (1-2)- Movin' on uppp...

Dave has that outfit and vows to wear it at the next awards banquet if he doesn't win the title this season.

7) Bay State Brandinos (0-3)- I think you've read enough about Brando's team for this week.

8) Dirty Tube Socks (2-1)- All I can say about Pete's team right now is...

9) the potroasters (1-2)- Improving as the season progresses, but Jon, let me save you some agony and heartache. Don't pay attention to your fantasy football score this weekend. It'll just depress you. In fact, just avoid football altogether this week. Maybe take the lady to a nice farmer's market or go apple picking or something, because honestly if you watch anything related to your fantasy football game, this week, well...

But who am I to say or judge? Sitting on the couch, wallowing away with your bottle of whiskey may be your Sunday routine, anyways. So you do you!

10) Londonderry Lumberjacks (1-2)- Apparently Matty Nice got married (guess my invite got lost in the mail) recently?

11) Hudson Deplorables (1-2)- Larry is feisty and his team is all over the place, just about making him a wilder card than Peter!

12) Multiple Scorgasms (1-2)- Kyle got a win, Kyle got a win!

THE YUGO WEEK THREE POWER RANKINGS: DECORP-OH-NO

Good day, league! We now have two weeks of football in the books and well,

Well, that's a bit harsh, but let's check the numbers and see...

•  The higher team in the Power Rankings won 4 out of 6 matchups and one of those losses was the number eight team to the number nine team.
•  After eight teams beat their projected scores in week one we had nine teams accomplish that in week two.
• Deloria rolled in with the highest score of week two a week after posting the second highest score in week one.
• Big Larry had the worst score of the week, failing to hit triple digits to the left of the decimal point.
• The average winning score in week two was 154.1 and the average score overall was 141.8.
• Dave had the highest losing score of week two, with Brandon close behind.
• Dave and Brandon join Kyle as the remaining winless teams
• While Nate, Deloria and Ryan stand as the remaining unbeaten.
• So does that mean there's a new team atop the Yugo Power Rankings!

            

1) Shirley TBD (2-0)- Despite his week two score being more than 25% lower than his week one score he still moves on up to the top of the Yugo Power Rankings. Enjoy it while you can, Natelynn!

 

2) Kupp the Bilals (1-1)- Escaped being 0-2 by the skin of my teeth and, mostly thanks to Nate, have had the most points scored against me...by over 50 more points than the next highest in that category. But, ya know, honestly, making a decision on how to use Aaron Rodgers going forward has been my main source of stress...

                     

            

It's fine, really.

3) Team Deloria (2-0)- Despite being 2-0 and being one of the top two scoring teams each of the first two weeks, the projections are not super in love with Deloria. Maybe they just aren't buying Michael Thomas catching almost 200 balls this year? Or maybe they don't see how adorable he is?

Gourd-geous!

4) Team Kindred (2-0)- Ryan won the big clash with Steve in week two, but had both Nate and Deloria leap frog him in the Yugo Power Rankings?

 

Ryan, buddy, we understand and respect your feelings, but things happen. Luckily another opportunity to prove yourself quickly arises as you play Deloria in the Foothills Tractor & Equipment Game of the Week, this week!

 

We know at least one team is not going to 3-0

5) Salem Salad Tossers (1-1)- A week two loss to Ryan coupled with a middle of the pack week three projection? Is Steve-O poised for a fall?

6) Bay State Brandinos (0-2)- There are five teams in the league with more than 300 points through two weeks...

1. Shirley TBD- 370.2 (2-0)
2. Team Deloria- 346.4 (2-0)
3. Team Kindred- 315.7 (2-0)
4. Kupp the Bilals- 309.7 (1-1)
5. Bay State Brandinos- 300.8 (0-2)

That's right, kids, poor Brandon is the highest scoring loser in the league right now and if you include last season Brando has now lost nine of his last eleven matchups. Yikes. Won't get much easier this week either as he faces...

7) Carnal Fruitarians (0-2)- David is off to a DeCorp-0-2 start as well and he was the highest scoring loser in week two. Have we awakened the beast?

At least one team won't be 0-3 at the end of this week.

Okay, onto the Nice Guys Finish Last portion of the rankings...

8) Londonderry Lumberjacks (1-1)- As much as the Yugo Power Rankings don't like the Jackers of Lumber, Matty Nice has a decent shot going to 2-1 this week, in theory. Matt plays the 0-2 Scorgasms (more like BORE-gasms, am I right?) but he's only favored by 4.3, so this could be anyone's game...sorry Matt!

9) Hudson Deplorables (1-1)- You know, I don't really know what to say about Larry's team. Week one was solid and week two was more like weak two. So what should we expect in week three?

10) The Pot Roasters (1-1)- Much like Larry, Provost's first two weeks have kind of been night and day. He draws the highest scoring team in the league this week, though, so...

11) The Dirty Tube-Socks (1-1)

Don't ever change, Pete!

12) Multiple Scorgasms (0-2)- I don't know about scorgasms...maybe he should change the team name to Erect-Kyle Dysfunction?

We love you, Kyle! Actually, I don't really know you, but I'm sure you are a lovely person. Okay, well...