WEEK SEVEN POWER RANKINGS: WOAH OH, WE'RE HALF-ISH WAY THERE!

It's week seven, which means the midpoint of our regular season. How wild is that?

I got things to do so why waste time, let's get to Dave getting upset, shall we?

12) Coop Her Kupp (0-6, 673.72 PF)- The lowest amount of wins to make the playoffs has been 5, so really Jude could go 5-2 the rest of the way and have a shot at the playoffs. Realistically though, every week is a must win. He was right in it most of the way against Brando, so maybe that first win is closer than we think? 

11) Peter's Team (1-5, 712.82 PF) - Remember that time Pete won? Seems like so long ago. 

10) Team Deloria (3-3, 752.76 PF) - Deloria's a real wild card right now. Seriously his team is a real roller coaster ride. Just when you think he's fading out of contention...BOOM there he is still in the hunt!

9) Shirley Stranglers (1-5, 742.84 PF)- Well, that winning streak was snapped at one. But hey at least Michael Thomas is out once again. Nate is gonna have to pull off this week's must win game with whatever he can scrap together at WR.

8) Purple Helmet- Jonny on the spot is almost as much of a wild card as Deloria, so I am declaring their game WILD CARD BOWL 2020!

7) Marvelous Muzzy's (4-2, 764.66 PF)- Right now their projected to lose to the Shirley Stranglers, but those are just projections. Both teams in the matchup are looking to rebound from a dreadful week six as they were the two lowest scoring teams in the league last week. Fun fact they were also the two lowest scoring teams in week three. Isn't that neat? Brady's team got the better of Rodgers' team in real football, will that pattern hold in fantasy this week?

6) Carnal Fruitarians (4-2, 898.50)- While it was his first week not being a "Boom or bust" it did keep him in a unique spot being the only team to be in either the top three in points or the bottom three in points every week this season. And the Power Rakings prefer more consistency. I'm hoping for that bottom three score this week. 

5) Kyle's Team (4-2, 815.24 PF)- Interestingly enough only Steve has scored more points than Kyle over the past three weeks. Kyle's team has some good depth and could be really be on the move if he can knock off Brando this week. That game has the closest projected score, so it should be a humdinger.

4) Bobsicles.(3-3, 833.46 PF)- Had to move a little bit after knocking off the last of the unbeatens, right? 

3) blfranchitto's Team (4-2, 896.26 PF- The top few spots after #1 in the rankings continue to be in flux. Look, Kamara and Mahomes is a deadly combo which makes this a tough team any way you slice it! So bring it!

2) Lavisky Business (5-1, 890.88 PF)- The winning streak is over...time for the next streak. Did you know going back to last year and including the playoffs this team has won 10 of it's last 12 games? Of course you didn't, but now you do. 

1) Salem Salad Tossers (4-2, 952.72 PF)- Looks like the Series of Unfortunate Opponents has ended for Steve...that's not good for the rest of us.

WEEK SIX POWER RANKINGS: BOOM OR BUST

Despite a close back and forth contest in week five, there's still one undefeated team left.  What can I say?

In other news, Nate jumped into the win column and the injury bug makes Dave's team a "Boom or Bust" squad...but more on that later.

12) Coop Her Kupp (0-5, 554.18 PF)- I don't think this one needs any sort of explanation, does it?

11) Peter's Team (1-4, 600.04 PF)- After a 3rd place finish last year this might be Pete's year to be an onlooker come playoff time.

10) Team Deloria (3-2, 639.08 PF)- Look, Deloria is on the move in the regular standings, but just missed moving up in the Power Rankings. That could change real quickly with a win over Dave this week. Or with a bad showing from...

9) Purple Helmet (2-3, 630.34 PF)- Nothing better for back-to-back losses than playing Pete, right now...since he has three straight losses. Something's gotta give, right?

8) Shirley Stranglers (1-4, 654.2 PF)- Nate has a win! If he gets some healthy receivers...

7) Marvelous Muzzy's (4-1, 670.46 PF)- With the fewest points against the Power Rankings thing double M has not had any big wins to prove they belong at 4-1 but they are climbing to 6th in points scored and have a shiny new QB, so could be rapidly ascending the Power Rankings quite soon!

6) Carnal Fruitarians (3-2, 766.94 PF)- Dave and posse head to Power Rankings HQ to "meet" the Power Ranking computer...

So first off, injuries played a part in Dave's week five demise, but those also have lasting effects. As I mentioned his team is now "Boom or Bust" which leads to the first update of our consistency ratings. What are consistency ratings? Well, so glad you asked. This is another piece of the large puzzle that forms the Power Rankings. See wins and overall points can be skewed by a really good or really bad week. The consistency ratings helps us take those out of the equation...sort of. Each week every team gets a rating of Boom, Bust or Average. Average is with in ten points either way, of the median score for a week. Boom is more than 10 points higher and bust? Come on, you must have guessed? No? It's a score more than ten below the middle scores. So here's a quick snapshot of where that stands so far this season.

While no one has been a boom, or a bust, in all five weeks, there are four teams that have not had a BOOM week...

and two that have not had a BUST week. As you can see, those two are Salem Salad Tossers and Lavisky Business. I wonder where those two teams will land in the standings?

5) Bobsicles. (2-3, 677.28 PF)- Looking at the consistency numbers, Bobsicles.' season has been a rollercoaster ride. Might need a BOOM week to hand Lavisky Business it's first L.

4) Kyle's Team (3-2, 662.74 PF)- This team runs a lot of two tight end sets...rare in fantasy football, but if you have Kittle and Kelce...it can work. 

3) blfranchitto's Team (3-2, 769.66 PF)- Oh Brandon. Back-to-back losses after that red hot start? Don't worry Brandon a matchup against the only winless team could be just what the doctor ordered to get things back on track.

2) Lavisky Business (5-0, 770.26 PF)- Yep, nothing to see here, just the lone undefeated team in the league. Yes there is a very real possibility of the first loss happening this week, but for at least a couple more days, I'm still without a loss so....

1) Salem Salad Tossers (3-2, 823.28 PF)- Highest scoring team, most BOOM weeks, just a couple unlucky weeks have two losses. Has the luck shifted for young Steven? Guess we bout to find out!

Alright, good luck to everyone this week, except Larry!

WEEK FIVE POWER RANKINGS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE BUZZEDFEED QUIZ, "WHICH DAVE IS YOUR FANTASY TEAM?"

Week five and only one undefeated team and two winless teams remain. As I mentioned, last week, just last season we had two 0-4 teams, which was the first time that has happened in the last four illustrious seasons, but we have to go back to 2017 to find the last time a team started 5-0, when Larry made that happen. 

What's interesting there, is in that season, Larry was knocked from the unbeatens by Steve in week six. Steve was the previous unbeaten to fall that season and this season? Well, the last remaining unbeaten team, owned and operated by very handsome and charming person, will face the last team to fall from the unbeatens, in the form of the now demoralized, blfranchitto's Team. Could history sort of repeat itself? Brando has an uphill battle for sure, but with Mahomes and Kamara projections are almost meaningless.

Now onto the losers. Since 2016 no team in the league has gone without a win in the first five weeks of the season. So we are in rarified air right now but....it's 2020, where science and being against fascism are considered controversial. Yes the Toilet Bowl is here as week five pits 0-4 Jude against 0-4 Nate.

 Nate is the heavy favorite because Jude, well, has anyone checked on Jude? It's a must win for these teams, but even a win leaves a pretty tough road ahead. Just look at the percentage of teams that made the playoffs with the following records.

5-8: 37.5% 

6-7: 85.71%

No team that has won 7 or more games has missed the playoffs and no team with fewer than five wins has made the playoffs. So even the winner of the Toilet Bowl will have some work to do, theoretically needing to go at least 4-4 after this week to really have a chance at the playoffs and really 6-2 to virtually guarantee a spot.

Now on with the rankings, brought to you by the Buzzedfeed Quiz, "Which Dave is Your Fantasy Team?"

12) Coop Her Kupp (0-4, 454.34 PF)- Jude's team gets Stoney McStonerson Dave

We all know Dave likes his bud, as the kids say, but this team has been so bad, it would have to be the stonediest Dave could, like to the point where he can't even name more than 3 of the top 10 tacklers in the league.

11) Peter's Team (1-3, 477.34 PF)- Peter's Team is Don't give an F, Dave

Pete is really just happy to be a part of things right now and could not care less if his team doesn't win.

10) Team Deloria (2-2, 515.84 PF)- Team Deloria, you got "Indifferent Dave"

Things definitely took a bad turn with Saquon going down, but Deloria is at 2-2 and poised to win this week. But after that three of his next four games are against the 1st, 2nd and 4th highest scoring teams, so....

9) Marvelous Muzzy's (3-1, 531.32 PF)- You get "8th Grade Dave"

Naive, full of pomp, world looks like your oyster right now, sitting at 3-1, but with the lowest points against (about 9 points fewer than the next team) this record seems suspect.

8) Shirley Stranglers (0-4, 515.08 PF)- This squad gets "Disgruntled Dave"

Nate's team on paper, should not be 0-4, but injuries lining up with him having the 2nd most points scored against him have him in a big hole.

7) Purple Helmet (2-2, 535.64 PF)- You got "Softer Side Dave"

Did you know Jonny has averaged the fewest points per week since joining the league? 

6) Bobsicles. (1-3, 562.56 PF)- You get "Sad Sack Dave"

Obviously the Power Rankings think this squad should be higher, but this can happen when you have the most points scored against you on the season. Here's a fun fact though...the Franchittos are 1-2-3 in points scored against them. I mean fun if you're not a Franchitto, I guess.

5) Kyle's Team (3-1, 525.28 PF)- This team is definitely the "Livin' the Dream Dave"

3-1, despite being 9th in points scored, this team just happy to be here.

4) blfranchitto's Team (3-1, 624.36 PF)- This is easily "Don't Find Out My Secret Dave" 

Brandon's team is good but seems very dependent on Kamara and Mahomes. Your secret's safe with me, Brando. Also, if there's two players to carry your team, those are decent choices.

3) Carnal Fruitarians (3-1, 653.40 PF)- You got "Scorch the Earth Dave"

Do I need to explain this further? It's hard to tell because it seems like Dave lacks self-confidence and is basically the league introvert, but he's adamant that he's the best and he will run through this league like Sherman through the south. You can say what you will about Dave, he backs it up. Remember no one has more points scored in this league from 2016 to now and only two other teams have made the playoffs in each of the past four seasons.

2) Charknado (4-0, 604.06 PF)- You got "Top of the World Dave" 

The last unbeaten team...need I say more?

1) Salem Salad Tossers (2-2, 649.90 PF)- You got "Class Act Dave"

This Dave is not often seen out in the wild, but it probably exists. Lined up with some teams doing their absolute best, the Power Rankings still think this is the team to beat. 

 

WEEK FOUR POWER RANKINGS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE COVIDIOCRACY

 Week four is here and things are about to get weird, as Covid cases start to roll in. There's at least one game scheduled for a later date with the potential for a second. 

I know, it's weird times and the NFL officials don't seem to care at all about the fantasy football community.

But the show must go on, right? Well it's gonna, whether you like it or not, so sit back and enjoy the ride. As we enter week 4 we are down to two unbeatens in the ranks, blfranchitto's Team and Charknado and two winless teams, the Shirley Stranglers and Coop Her Kupp. 

Now since the 2016 season (cause that's as far back as I can go, but also it's when I joined the league and made it good) only four teams have made it to 4-0. Kyle and Will accomplished that feat in 2016 and Steve and Larry made it happen in 2017. In the past three seasons no one has been able to get past the 3-0 mark. 

We only have to go back to last year to find the last time a team went 0-4, as both Deloria and Steve accomplished that last season. No team that has started 0-4 has made the playoffs in the last four seasons, so it looks like must win time for Jude and Nate. Nate has the tougher path as he faces one of the undefeated teams and comes in as a heavy underdog, but anything can and will happen.

So let's see where those teams fall in the rankings:

12) Team Deloria (1-2, 372.92 pts)- I know it's tough to rain on Deloria's parade after he jumped into the win column last week, but the injuries leave his team decimated so...

11) Coop Her Kupp (0-3, 382.64 pts)- I mean the good news is Jude faces Steve this week, which means his team should have it's best performance of the season.

10) Peter's Team (1-2, 351.9 pts)- So, somehow Pete has a win? I am really not sure he knows he is still in the league. Injuries and postponements will quickly test this teams mettle.

9) Marvelous Muzzy's (2-1, 389.28 pts)- Big injuries to recover from here and the PRs aren't liking the current chances for this team to get past them.

8)Purple Helmet (2-1, 398.54 pts)- Jonny could be hit the hardest if the Patriots don't play this week, losing four players from that game. As a new feature on the PRs we can look to the hypothetical future and provide a dramatization of Jonny's reaction if the Pats game is moved off of week four's slate.

7) Shirley Stranglers (0-3, 386.42 pts)- As noted, Nate is primed to go 0-4 and no one has started 0-4 and made the playoffs. That doesn't mean it couldn't happen though and a 5-8 team has made the playoffs before, which means, conceivably, he could go 5-5 the rest of the season and make the playoffs. But as the injuries and losses mount, the odds get lower and lower.

6) Kyle's Team (2-1, 350.28 pts)- Based on scores, Kyle's Team has been extremely lucky to be at 2-1. Kyle the fewest points scored and only Marvelous Muzzy's have had fewer points scored against them. Those rankings are not projected to change much this week, facing off against Purple Helmet especially if the Chiefs-Patriots game gets moved to another week.   

5) Bobsicles. (1-2, 462.56 pts)- Sure this squad is 1-2, but they've had the second highest amount of points scored against them this season, so a bit of unluckiness has contributed to that 1-2 start. 

4) Carnal Fruitarians (2-1, 452.22 pts)- Like the Jeffersons, Dave continues to be movin' on up the rankings. His absolutely atrocious week one still hinders his overall ranking, but a win over undefeated Brando this week could inch him even closer to the top. But, to help out Dave a bit, let's point out that over the past four seasons, Dave has the highest PPG in the league. He also has the 2nd lowest PPG scored against him, but we'll save that for another time.

3) Charknado (3-0, 459.44 pts)- Did you know there are only 3 owners that have made the playoffs in each of the last five seasons? Dave, Nate and this guy! Another fun fact, my team has averaged the most points scored against it over the past five seasons. It's been neat. Anyways, the path to 4-0 goes through a winless and hobbled Shirley Stranglers. Could be a trap game for sure!

 

2) blfranchitto Team (3-0, 506.72 pts)- This is gonna be a good season for Brandon based on recent history. What do I mean? Well, in 2016 and 2018 Brandon made the playoffs, while in 2017 and 2019 he missed the playoffs. In those odd numbered years Brandon's teams have had the 2nd lowest points scored and lowest points scores respectively. Now, Brando's team has looked good but think of his team as like that muscle bound jock who looks good, but really only works on his glamour muscles. Every muscle of Brandon's team is about to be tested with byes and injuries, so let's see how long he can stay atop the standings.

1) Salem Salad Tossers (1-2, 480.5 pts)- Yes, it's odd to have a 1-2 team atop the Power Rankings, but Steve's team is 2nd in points scored, but sadly has had the most points scored against him. The quality and depth of Steve's team should win out at some point, right? Well, maybe not, as Steve has had the 3rd most PPG scored against him over the past four seasons, so who knows?

That's all I got for now! Good luck to everyone except Nate, this week!