The Inaugural 2022 Whiny Bastards Power Rankings

Welcome to the 2022 Power Rankings, sponsored by Bickford's! Bickford's...breakfast anytime!

Alright the Commodore 64 is out of the closet, dusted off and fired up. Inserted the ol' Power Ranker 5000 floppy into the disk drive and we're good to go! Apologies, no real historical nuggets this week, but I'll try and come up with some next time around. So let's get on with 2000 words of pointing out how Dave sucks...

12) The pot roasters (0-1, 107 PF)- Welcome back to the league, Jonboy! Hopefully, for Jon, this is just some rust that needs to be scraped off because he is far from the pole position, here. 

11) Peter's Team (1-0, 133.18)- Yes, I understand that Pete did beat Brandon, but hey sun shines on a dog's ass every now and then, right? This ranking is also partly due to the fact we all know Pete might not even know he's still in the league. I mean once byes and injuries hit we know any positives that have gone to the Hotzstepper will quickly be negated.

10) Londonderry Football Team (1-0, 127.66)- Should there be a higher ranking for a 1-0 team who beat the Mouth of the South...west in week one? Maybe. Let's just call it extra motivation for Matt?

9) The PPs (0-1, 126.50)- Yes here he is, the aforementioned, Mouth of the South...west.

Looks like Dave's team was not ready to deliver nor receive said noise in week one. It's sad state of affairs for sure, when more people weren't mocking Dave's weak, er, week one "effort". Only a minor setback, for sure. It most assuredly won't shut him up, but for now his team is a pathetic, flaccid unit. 

8) Laughing Kookaburra (0-1, 120.12 PF)- There isn't much worse than losing to an autodraft team that hardly ever makes moves or lineup changes, right? 

7) Purple Helmet (1-0, 147.48 PF)- Contemplated dropping this team a bit more for seemingly disrespecting the power ranker in the chat, but, eh. This team is just a  Josh Allen ACL sprain away from the end of the end.

6) The Champion (0-1, 111.62)- Quite possibly the worst start to a title defense in the league's history. I say quite possibly, because I have no actual idea, but I am sure the champ took it like a, well, a champion.

5) Bobsicles. (0-1, 132.42 PF)- 

4) Team Deloria (1-0, 129 PF)- The second worst winner of week one, Deloria just kind of blends in to the background as a contender, each year, but don't sleep on him. Well, at least, in fantasy football, he actually seems like he's probably a pretty good snuggler.

3) Kyle's Team (0-1, 125.26 PF)- I mean, to say this team was beaten in week one does not even begin to describe what happened. The best way for Kyle to look at it is even if his team did perform decently in week one, they'd still be 0-1. Would they be higher in the PRs? Well, probably.

2) Kupp the Bilals (1-0, 199.6 PF)- Nothing like winning the draft (according to Yahoo! and my mom) and then taking the top score in week one...handily. 

Doubtful that score is replicated in week 2, but this team again had the top projected score coming into the week. Just sayin'.

1) Shirley Stranglers (1-0, 151.52 PF)- Number two score in week one, but the overall season prospects look pretty decent for the Stranglers and you gotta give the commish some love here and there, right? I am sure Nate will take this ranking with nothing but grace and class...