Wow, what can I say about this final week of our regular season?! This may be the epicmost week 13 in league history! (HYPERBOLE ALERT) Okay, while I don't have actual data to support that I can lay out what we have this week! Plus a DeCorpo Bowl, a Franchitto Bowl and a Toilet Bowl!
First off, every matchup has some sort of implication! Yes, even this week's Toilet Bowl between Pete and Jude has ramifications as the #1 pick next season is on the line! Pete wins and Jude gets the pick, Jude wins and Pete gets the pick! It's a gentleman's fight for futility!
Additionally, Brandon, Will and Dave have a shot at the points title. Brandon is in a good spot and just has to old them off for one more week to get that points title moola.
Plus, Brandon and Dave are not out of the running to be regular season champ. If I beat Jonny then I clinch the #1 seed for the first time in my career in this league. If I lose, then it gets wild. In that instance, if Brandon wins and Dave loses and I don't outscore Brandon by 15.72 points, Brandon is the one seed. The path is tougher for Dave if I lose and Brandon wins, because he is 3rd in points he would need to still outscore both of us to get the title. He only has to outscore me by 11 or so to win the tiebreaker but unless Brandon loses, he really needs to outscore Brandon by about 26 points to get the #1 seed.
On the other end, Kyle, Nate and Larry are in a duel for the final playoff spots. Right now, Larry has the points tiebreaker, but the three teams are only separated by 21 points so that tiebreaker could easily change.
If Kyle and Nate win...they're in. However, if Larry wins and Kyle loses to Matt, it comes down to points, for the last spot, because Larry is ahead of Nate in points so if he beats Nate, he's in and Nate has to hope Kyle loses and doesn't score more than 13 points than him in the process.
Meanwhile, Deloria is in, but the number of outcomes gets wild depending on what everyone else does. A win and he could potentially land the four seed, but no worse than a five seed. If he loses, he could end up 6th, 7th or 8th.
Wild stuff! So now that you've finished the apps, let's get to the main course!
12) Purple Helmet (4-8, 1369 PF)- Well, it's been a rough, well, season. Despite four wins, it's been a hot minute since his team was competitive, being in the bottom three in points in four of the last five weeks.
11) Peter's Team (3-9, 1390.82)- Well, no chance at the playoffs didn't stop him from throwing up the top score of week 12, now he plays for the #1 draft pick!
10) Coop Her Kupp (2-10, 1434.56 PF)- Well, the luck has not been on Jude's sign as given his performance his should be locked into a battle for a playoff spot right now, but alas, he is not.
9) Bobsicles. (5-7, 1575.58 PF)- Well, it comes down to the final week and Larry needs a win and he's in. See, he has more points than Nate, so a win over Nate and he will be in. Lose and he's out, simple as that.
8) Kyle's Team (6-6, 1554.48 PF)- What Kyle's season has been to this point, is irrelevant, right now...how he performs this week is all that matters. Win and he's in, but lose and there's still a chance he makes the playoffs, if he finishes with more points than Larry and Nate, assuming Larry beats Nate, but a Nate win gets him in either way. Got that?
7) Team Deloria (7-5, 1535.10 PF)- Some may have written Deloria off, but here he is...playoff bound. The wild thing is he could be anything from the four seed to the eight seed.
6) Shirley Stranglers (6-6, 1567.7 PF)- The slow start (let's blame Michael Thomas) could cost him, but just like Kyle a win and he's in. Simple. In fact if he wins he clinches the playoffs for himself, Kyle and Steve.
5) Salem Salad Tossers (6-6, 1697.52 PF)- Well, Steve hasn't technically clinched a playoff spot, but it would take a miracle for him to not make the playoffs based on the points for. Also based on points for, he really can't do worse than the six seed.
4) Marvelous Muzzy's (8-4, 1553.1 PF)- By all standards, Matt has been the luckiest team this season, but regardless, he could actually still go has high as the two seed if Dave and Brandon both lose.
3) Carnal Fruitarians (8-4, 1731.92 PF)- The points race comes down to the final week, and Dave is still in the running, but needs one of his Boom weeks to pull it out. So, you know, the opposite of last week's Derek Carr captained shipwreck. Can he right the ship for week 13 or will it be rough regular season finish?
2) Laughing Kookaburra (8-4, 1757.9 PF)- Brandon just has to hold Dave and myself off for one more week to win the points title
and still has a shot at the #1 seed if there's a loss by...
1) HAIL MURRAY (9-3, 1742.18 PF)- Still the master of consistency, although the last couple week have been a bit rough. Just needs a win to keep that one seed and some points to try and get that points crown. But the one seed is his to lose!
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